Lessons in Love from Jane Austen

Miss McLaughlin

TEN ways to get a girl by Mr Knightley, Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy

plus 

FIVE ways to lose one, by Mr Willoughby, Mr Wickham, Mr Crawford, Mr Collins and Mr Darcy

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Jane Austen is one of the greatest - and best loved - writers in the literary canon. In the year which marks the bicentenary of her death, this month sees the introduction of the new plastic £10 note with Jane Austen replacing Charles Darwin after 17 years on our legal tender. Collectors are on the look out for low serial numbered notes (the first three presented to the Queen, Prince Philip and Teresa May respectively) and other significant Austen dates. So, before you hand over your tenner, make sure you take a glance to check if you have Jane Austen’s birthday, 16 12 1775, or her death 18 07 1817.

The picture of Austen is accompanied by the line 'I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading!' Although the sentiment on face value seems fitting, those amongst you who are familiar with the novel might question its suitability given that Miss Bingley, having just made this declaration, promptly ‘yawned’ and ‘threw aside her book’. Perhaps, you might suggest, her attraction is more to the wealth which would have been necessary to possess the desired ‘excellent library’ than for the wealth to be found within the books themselves. And didn’t Darcy have a very wonderful library…?

So, what of the wealth within the books themselves? Austen offers, in her six novels, a remarkable window into the world as it was 200 years ago and a pin-sharp insight into human nature which is as illuminating then as it is now. With her wit and wry humour, her novels offer us examples of how to - and how not to – handle problems which plagued her characters and continue to be relevant today: how to handle treachery and false friends; how money can affect people’s actions; how to apologise and admit fault when you have been in the wrong; and the importance of staying true to one’s self. It is also universally acknowledged that Austen has much to offer on the slippery topic of love.

DOs:

Mr Bingley- ‘is just what a young man ought to be’: ‘sensible, good humoured, lively [and with] happy manners’. From Pride and Prejudice.

• Do demonstrate ‘happy manners’, in particular, enjoy a good party. 
• Do be sure to dance through the evening and bemoan an early finish and, before leaving said party, make your desire for the next event known. You might even offer to host. 
• Do be charming and polite to your love interest’s family, even if they exhibit Mrs Bennet’s lack of tact and Mr Bennet’s lack of care.

Mr Knightley – Being called Mr Knightley is a pretty great start if you are looking to play a convincing romantic lead in your life. Being a genuinely nice chap is also helpful. From Emma.

Mr Knightley’s lessons in love centre on doing the right thing. As he says to Emma, 'There is one thing…which a man can always do if he chooses, and that is his duty; not by manoeuvring and finessing, but by vigour and resolution.' Excellent advice, indeed. This extends also to the following:

• Do be the gentleman who is kind to everyone – especially if you notice others being off-hand or rude to someone. This gets noticed and gets you the girl.
• Do be brave and offer good advice even if you fear it will fall on deaf ears. 
• Do make sure everyone gets home after a party. You might not be able to call a carriage Knightley-style, and recent rulings might make calling a certain taxi company problematic, but, nevertheless, don’t leave anyone to wander home in the dark.

Mr Darcy - Fortunate to have looks, wealth and position, Darcy does a surprisingly good job at turning the ‘tide of his popularity’ with initial bad manners (a big no-no for winning the love of anyone, frankly). Despite this rocky start, Darcy is a good lesson in actions speaking louder than words. From Pride and Prejudice.

• Do prove yourself through your actions. What others say about you can often unlock the heart of your romantic interest. So, be kind to the person who sells you coffee, your siblings and your teachers… a good opinion once won, is an asset forever.
• Do admit when you are in the wrong (see Mr Darcy on (almost) losing a girl, below). Own it; if it was ‘unpardonable’, say so. Remembering a reproach given and relaying it back word-for-word only to say that ‘I was properly humbled’ and that it ‘taught me a lesson’ is never a bad idea either.

You might expect some advice with regard to swimming in moats and looking dashing, it certainly didn’t hurt in the BBC version but was not of Jane Austen’s invention.

DON’Ts:

Mr Willoughby – a handsome chap who pays the price for his poor decisions. From Sense and Sensibility.

• Don’t toy with someone’s emotions; all charm and attention but with an eye out for a more profitable catch. A good lesson in reaping what you sow. Read the book: this kind of cold-hearted behaviour will back-fire! 

Mr Wickham – a cad. Easy manners but all charm and no substance. From Pride and Prejudice.

• Where to start… Wickham sits in direct opposition to many of our characters offering good advice about integrity and honesty. Don’t pretend to be something you are not, lie and try to put the blame for your bad decisions on others.

Mr Crawford – a cosmopolitan guy who lacks propriety. From Mansfield Park.

• Don’t trifle with people’s affections and play games trying to get women to love you. You never know when you might end up burning a bridge you wish you could cross. 

Mr Collins - a terrible bore. From Pride and Prejudice.

• Don’t, like Mr Collins, practice ‘suggesting and arranging such little compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasion’; certainly, don’t tell our love interest this if you do. 

Mr Darcy - as above.

• Don’t be rude. Darcy apologises for his pride but, on first meeting, he is, frankly, rude. He might have £10,000 a year but manners are free and he seems to lack any! Specifically, do not refer to a potential love interest as ‘tolerable’; it suggests mediocracy and, also, that they are something to be endured. This is not an ideal impression to give and is hard (but not, as the novel will attest, impossible) to come back from.

So, there you have it, some good advice and food for thought from the famous writer and face of the £10 note.

If you'd like to find out more about Jane Austen, check out Dr Hudson's introduction to the writer and her novels here.